Caring for Others

The most rewarding things that I’ve done in my life involved doing something nice for someone else.

Many times, the recipient has been not so thankful. But, I still felt good anyway. I think it’s important to not let other people’s reactions rob us of the joy of kindness and good deeds. This is VERY hard for me to do, but I’m working on it.

I thought about writing this today because I made some meals for my elderly uncle. I cannot cook like his late wife (my aunt) but I know that he will appreciate my effort.

Do you appreciate other people’s efforts without being critical or an asshole otherwise?

I think that’s easier to do than we think it is.

When I was a kid, I hated bananas. I’ve grown tolerant of them as an adult because I put them in smoothies and the potassium makes my old body feel a little less old.

But honestly, I could never see another banana again and be fine, even happy.

But, when I was a kid, one of my grandma’s friends used to love giving me bananas. It was her favorite fruit and perhaps she thought that she was really being kind to me by offering me one.

I still hated them.

But my grandmother, in all her wisdom, instructed me to not eat the banana but to always, always take it and be completely gracious and thankful.

Eventually, I went from kind of pretending to be thankful to having a better understanding of what grace is. Eventually, my thanks was heartfelt and not at all pretentious, even though I never ate the damned bananas.

I learned to be gracious when someone thought enough of me to do something. I learned to not take the joy from them for being kind. I learned not to essentially punish people for being nice. I learned a little bit of what it’s like to not be an asshole.

And now, when I do nice things for people, I get to learn how to be on the other side of the equation. Sometimes something that I do that I think is kind is met with welcome and enthusiasm. Sometimes, it’s not. But regardless, I’m working on not attaching my feelings to the behavior of other people. I take the pleasure and reward of kindness from what I can control: only myself.

What do you think of this topic?

Until tomorrow my friends…

Friday Starts at 7:01 am

I slept in a little bit today, even though I had an important meeting this morning. Last night, I remember reaching to set the alarm clock on my phone and then I only remember the darkness of being swallowed by the sleepy.

Luckily, my meeting wasn’t until 11:00 am, so I had several hours to wake up and worry about the things that could go wrong.

I am getting better about not worrying, though, so I can confidently say that this morning, I worried probably 60% less than I would normally have. Even though worrying is my super power, it was really nice to worry so much less than I usually would have.

Besides, I have been busting my ass on this project, so I almost had nothing to even try to worry about. Aside from wanting to show off a little bit, I had done everything that I could to get the project to the current point. I could do nothing else, aside from turning into a genie.

My meeting went REALLY WELL and I even got free lunch out of the deal. When I left to go to the meeting and threw my bag in the car, I said to myself, “When this meeting is over, it’ll be 2:00 pm, and I will GET  to clean up before bed!”

I said this with a real excitement. I have been so busy that I actually looked forward to cleaning up. That’s kind of sad. But, I do like how I unconsciously phrased cleaning up in a positive way, something that I wouldn’t usually do. My efforts to become a tiny bit more grateful and conscious every day are paying off. I’m thankful that I’m becoming more grateful.

At the end of the meeting, I drove around the corner and exhaled. I didn’t want the client to see me sitting in the car yelling HALLELUJAH, so I drove out of eye sight. I then drove home, and proceeded to work more. I sent them some more work, and at about 6:00 pm, I decided it was time to order some GrubHub (don’t judge me).

I ate my Thai takeout and watched “The Devil Wears Prada.” Have you ever seen that? The end where Meryl Streep gives a little bit of a smile and then sarcastically hisses, GOOOOO to her driver, ah, that darn Meryl Streep. She got me right in the feels with that one.

What does it say about me that I was kind of rooting for Meryl Streep the entire time, not that she needed rooting for, but I should say that she was my favorite character and I could relate to her feelings of annoyance with people and her overall career drive. That probably says that I’m a terrible person, but ah, to hell with it. We need devils to appreciate the angels and besides, no one is a true devil or an angel (watch the damn movie if you don’t believe me, somehow).

I was exhausted by the end of the day, but in a weird way. I still feel good and have a little energy; I just needed a little break from work. I might treat myself to a movie tomorrow, before getting back to work.

Today was a good day, a good Friday. I’m thankful that I woke up and had this day. I could have had a lot of other days, but I’m glad that I had the one that I had.

AND THIS IS THE END OF THE 5 DAY GET OUTTA BED CHALLENGE

What’s next? What challenge do you think I should do? Leave a comment below.

Until tomorrow, my friends…

It’s the Little Things

Don’t laugh, but YES, that is a photo of a storage bench from Target.

A few days ago, I decided to finally rid myself of a problem that I have had for almost a year: no where to sit my fat ass down to put on my shoes.

For almost a year, I have stumbled around, scooting on my shoes, while leaning against the wall. Or, I would carefully hover my fat front half and the fatter back half of my ass on the side of the tub, praying that I wouldn’t fall in, as I tried to put on my shoes.

Have you ever done this? Have you ever tortured yourself in this way for a YEAR?

During the summer months, it wasn’t so bad. I usually wore flip flops, so I didn’t need any stability to slide into a pair of shoes.

However, during the winter months, trying to put on a pair of booties is not quite as carefree as scooting into a flashy pair of flat sandals.

So, a few days ago, I bought this bench. And today, I worked up the strength to carry it from the car to the bedroom. When it was time for me to put my shoes on this afternoon, I danced out of the closet, over the bench, and, yes, out loud, I said, TODAY I GET TO USE MY NEW BENCH!

I sat down and put on my gold booties. It was so easy. I was so damn grateful. Sometimes, it’s the little things. Or the things that are the size of a bench.

What are you grateful for today?

Until tomorrow, friends…