Coffee House Chronicles

A dose of unnecessary foolishness, thanks to my local Starbucks.

Children are Horrible

There’s a teacher sitting at the bar, staring out the window in between slow clicks, as he pecks away at his laptop. He is grading papers.

Two of his students entered the coffee shop and he talked to him, with high energy and genuine enthusiasm about seeing them during Spring Break. The male child cringed and only gave two word answers. The female child looked confused and said nothing. When I was a teacher, kids used to like teachers. Modern children are awful! Ha! Poor guy!

Loud Talkers are Horrible

There was a young woman, taking a phone call, talking seemingly as loud as possible, in Spanish, holding the phone with one ear, a handheld mirror with one hand, and a mascara wand with the other hand. I secretly hope that her mascara melts off! GOSH lady! Lower your voice!

Extra Long Socks are Horrible

Guys wearing extra long socks with trainers. What is this? 1970? Who is this? Wilt Chamberlain? GOSH!

Wooden Chairs are Horrible

I have been here for about 3 hours. I guess the fact that my butt hurts is 100% my fault.

Until tomorrow, my friends…

People are Weird

I work as a training and development consultant. Today, I was at a client’s office, directing a training video and photography shoot. I needed to tell one of the employees to look at a screen, and I accidentally grabbed his arm to get his attention. I immediately apologized and he responded, rather gleefully, “I am a Latin man. We are not offended easily.”

I smiled kind of awkwardly and then he went on to say: “It’s International Women’s Day! Grab whatever you want!”

Hmmmm….

I knew exactly what he meant and I understood that he was just being friendly, and trying to make me feel more comfortable about my goof. I knew that he was not trying to be a creep or Harry Weinstein type.

But still, that was pretty hilarious. Perhaps I should have quoted the current American president and asked if I could grab him by the…well, of course I won’t quote the current American president.

Weird things seemingly always happen to me. It makes life pretty interesting though; I have to admit.

Until tomorrow my friends…

My Dirtiest Secret

Here’s the thing: I am not clueless in the kitchen. Through years of trial and error (and watching lots of celebrity chefs on tv), I have actually become quite adequate, dare I say, creative and good, in the kitchen.

I have skills! Finally. Thankfully.

But, I still eat out more often than I’d like to admit and I still eat stuff from the box sometimes. Eating baked good type things from the box is HORRIBLE to me, except for two exceptions: 1) boxed strawberry cake and 2) boxed brownies.

I have no idea why I absolutely love the taste of *only* box strawberry cake. I mean, it’s moist and delicious and slightly artificially tasty in a way that I cannot duplicate at home. For any other flavor, I prefer the cake I can make at home.

I have a bit more of an understanding about my affinity for boxed brownies. Way back in the day, when I was more broke and more skinny, making brownies on Sunday meant that I had a tiny little bit of dessert to eat with my sometimes sad little meals throughout the week. I have a picture of me, standing in the kitchen of one of my first apartments, making brownies, luxurious and thick hair carefully pinned back to avoid contaminating my tasty $1.79 worth of chocolaty investment.

Nowadays, I have a bit less hair and a bit more fat. I also had to shell out a bit more money for the box of brownie mix, but it is such a fair trade, to be able to make an entire dessert in less time than it takes to heat the oven.

Perhaps, one day I’ll be a famous food blogger. If that happens, I would like the 3 people who read this to keep this secret just between us.

What is a food thing that you secretly enjoy, even though, for some reason, you have some shame about it?

Until tomorrow, my friends…

P.S.

My secret to making these brownies extra delicious is to stir more walnuts into the batter, up to a quarter cup! Shhhh!